"This self-pity and self-indulgence
is unbecoming of the Great Soul
that you are." —Bhagavad Gita
by Susan Barber
Before we can have a truly successful relationship, we must first learn to feel love for ourselves. Loving Yourself is Relationship 101. It is a required course.
We all know this. But knowing it and actualizing it are two different things.
Below is an exercise designed to help you feel love for yourself. Variations on this exercise have helped many, ourselves included, to overcome the lack of self-love that keeps us in toxic relationships, makes us basically unlovable to others, or perpetuates the slow death of codependency. For the basics of this exercise we are indebted to many, including Ken Carey, Jock Purcell/Lazaris, Jane Roberts/Seth, studies in neurolinguistic programming, and our dear friend the Archangel Michael.
Before you do the exercise itself, you will need some background. For this, simply read the following Legend of Yourself.
For some, this works best if another person reads it to you. Even if you've already read it once yourself, you might want to experience it as a listener. If you choose this, select as your reader someone you both like and trust. Or make a tape-recording in your own voice, and listen to that.
|The Legend of Yourself
Once upon a time, you were a Great Being, a beautiful Spirit living in total Oneness in Heaven with Mother/Father God – All That Is. You could not be angry, for there was no one to become angry with. Could not be afraid, for there was no thing more powerful than You. In fact, there was no thing, period.
One day, you went to the big Bulletin Board in the Sky, and saw that Mother/Father God – All That Is was calling for volunteers to enter into the Fields of Matter. If you volunteered, the announcement said, you should realize that upon entering the Fields of Matter, you would gradually lose your Knowledge of Oneness, finally perceiving Yourself as a totally separate entity. The memory of Heaven would fade like a dream.
But to compensate, there would be experiences in the Fields of Matter that were not available in the All. For example, in the Fields of Matter, it would be possible to watch snow swirling around a corner streetlamp on a winter's night, soundlessly wrapped in quiet calm.
"Amazing!" you remember exclaiming — for you had never experienced a thing like "quiet" or "snow" or "night" or "streetlamps." All That Is was a tapestry, a network of All Light and All Sound. Each experience was All Experience, like dancing on a tightrope that vibrated to every single Event in every possible Universe.
You kept reading.
In the Fields of Matter, the announcement continued, it would be possible to walk along the beach holding hands with a lover. To relax in a woodland clearing and listen to the chirping of birds, the rippling of water over stones that sparkled in the sunlight. Experience would no longer consist of All Birds At Once and All Water At Once and All Trees at Once and All All That Is, All At Once.
Gradually, as you took in all these wonderful ideas, the immediacy and intimacy of Physical Reality began to seem precious and unbelievably desirable. You wanted to go there and have these experiences.
The announcement warned that for everything that you loved in Physical Reality, there would be something that you hated, and the something that you hated would always be there, like an ugly frame around a beautiful picture. But you placed no great importance on these warnings, for you could not imagine anything but Love. You absolutely knew, despite what others might have reported, that you would never make the mistake of spending millions of years ignoring the beautiful picture and staring at the frame.
And so you volunteered. And out of many, many others who were called to read this announcement, you were one of the very, very few that was chosen.
And You were chosen for your strength. Your beauty. Your courage. And your eagerness to serve Mother/Father God – All That Is.
Now, do the following exercise. It may seem long, but it takes much longer to read it or speak it than it does to perform. Eventually, you will be able to do the whole exercise, wordlessly, in a few seconds:
- Spend just a few moments going into your quiet space, breathing rhythmically and letting go of outside thoughts. Relaxing.
- Now, imagine yourself lying peacefully asleep in your bed. It has been a long, long journey since you first volunteered to come to Earth. You reached the furthest point away from Heaven long, long ago, and since then you have been returning home. You are dreaming about that. About returning home.
- Feel yourself in bed, dreaming there. And imagine that all around you, in your room, bathed in beautiful light, are all the Great Beings who were your friends before you left Heaven. Some did not want to enter into the Fields of Matter. Some wanted to, but were not chosen. Perhaps some of these Beings are Ascended Masters with whom you have been working. At least two of them are your own Spirit Guides or Angels. Perhaps the Christ is there, as well, and Mary. Others who may be present are Babaji, Sai Baba, and one or more of the Archangels. Take time to see, sense or feel all these Great Beings around you, guarding your sleep.
- One of these Great Beings is your Higher Self. This Higher Self is who you were before you began to forget Oneness — a very Great Angel indeed.
- Now, leaving your body asleep, rise up in your energy body and go join the circle of Great Beings who surround you, and stand beside your Higher Self. Take time to feel, sense, and see yourself doing this.
- When you have become part of the group of Great Beings in the room, look back at yourself in the bed, lying there asleep. And as you do so, realize that your Higher Self and all the other Great Beings are looking at this figure in the bed as you would look at a beloved sleeping child. Can you remember what it feels like to watch a dearly beloved child lying asleep? Realize that this is the tenderness your Higher Self is feeling for you now.
- But there's more, much more. For this child of your Higher Self has grown up to become one of the Heroes of the Great Legends of Heaven. This child has been away for millions of years like a soldier off at the wars, and is now returning home. Oh, there is such pride among these Great Beings with whom you now stand, watching that other part of yourself sweetly sleeping.
- They are overwhelmed at your accomplishments. Some of the Great Beings in this room where you stand have never had to try to feel love while experiencing fear, or anger, or loss. Have never tried to imagine Oneness with All That Is while feeling separate and alone. Love for them is no trick, no accomplishment at all. Love simply Is. That you have managed to return to Love despite the perception of separation is to them a miracle greater than anything you can imagine on Earth.
- Others of the Great Beings who surround you have experienced duality, and they realize your amazing accomplishments. They are like sports fans at a game, excitedly involved, cheering you on. They know that, despite thousands of years of unimaginable, paralyzing fear, you have never given up. They know that, despite thousands of years of inconceivably crushing anger, you have finally understood about Love, and you have made it your polestar, guiding you home.
- Realize that these Great Beings are not greater than you are. In fact, they are totally in awe of you, as we are in awe of moviestars and Olympic athletes. And they are grateful, as well. For what you have done, you have done for them. What you have done, you have done for Mother/Father God – All That Is.
- Yes, you are coming home! Feel the love and pride and rejoicing of the Great Beings who have stood guard, who still stand guard over your long, long sleep, knowing now that soon, very soon, We will All be together again.
- Now, blend with your Higher Self, and look at this sleeping hero that you are through the eyes of your Higher Self. Feel the pride, the love, the tenderness that your Higher Self feels for this incredibly beautiful, courageous Being who has been away so long and now is coming Home.
- Return to your own body in the bed.
- Now, return to yourself in present time.
- Open your eyes.
At first, this exercise takes time. But after a little practice, you will be able to do it in a few seconds. We suggest that you really "get into it" at least once a day until you can truly feel that you are a beloved, legendary hero of one of the Great Legends of Heaven, coming home.
The battles are over, now. The Ego has retired to the country and is growing flowers. And you are attending that Great Celebration in the Sky, commemorating the Heroes who have returned. You are one of those Heroes. You are there, celebrating with the rest. No more and no less than the rest.
The Ambrosia of the Gods is flowing. All is feasting and fun. All are Kings and Queens together.
Then — just for a moment — you remember. What it was like to walk in a grassy woodland with a lover. What it was like to listen to the birds singing. There is just a trace of sadness. Just a trace of longing for the dear, sweet intimacy, the immediacy, the precious loveliness of the little corners of Creation where Time allows us to linger for awhile.
But that seems to have all happened long, long ago — and now is now. This Ambrosia is really wonderful stuff. And there are other worlds for us to conquer. An infinity of worlds. Oh, yes.